Used Panties.

So I'm really ready for this election mess to be over with. These campaigns have been going on since Reconstruction and I've actually started yelling at the television screen whenever they cut to a shot of Sarah Palin. That ain't healthy. 

Enough of that, though, 'less we all get sick of it together.

My weekend was almost grand. I went to Norman with my dad and saw the Sooners play Nebraska. It wasn't the most memorable game, they built a big lead in the first five minutes and just coasted the rest of the way. I was jazzed, he was jazzed, we were all jazzed. 

I read that Stacy Kiebler sells her used panties on Ebay or whatever. She said people kept asking her to do it so eventually she just went for it and I guess all the proceeds go to charity. Which is nice but still, this brings up some interesting questions. First, what kind of person buys used panties? Well, that's kind of a stupid question, but still, I mean, why? If Stacy Kiebler comes with the panties and she signs some sort of waiver I guess that's cool. I'd bid fifteen bucks for that. 

Really though, don't you get a little freaked out by that? Just a little? You know some dude's somewhere's got a collection of used panties he's bought off the internet stashed away in a drawer somewhere. Every third Wednesday or whatever he has himself a pile-o-panties sniff and whack off party. What else do you do with used panties? Do you get them autographed and put them in a frame? You have to think on some level Ms. Kiebler knows that some dude is just ripping open the box of panties, putting them on his head, and cranking away like a concussed bonobo after an all night meth bender. I don't know, I'd be a little weirded out by that.

Maybe I'd be the guy cranking away like a concussed bonobo. I don't know, I've never bought a pair of used panties over the internet. It would depend on whether or not they bag them up right after use or if they wash them first. Are they special occasion panties or do they sell panties that they wore after eating at Denny's at 3am and getting a bad case of diarrhea? Is there a guide to used panty prices? Like, the 3am Denny's panties are in the bargain bin and the panties Stacy Kiebler wore when she wrestled Trish Stratus for the Women's Title the ones that are priced beyond the means of most mortals. 

There's probably a whole market for 3am Denny's panties. Because people are pretty fucked up.

You can only sell your panties if you're a hot chick. Well, it helps if you're hot, you don't have to be. You probably don't even have to be famous. You can just be a chick and it's a good bet that some dude somewhere wants to sniff your panties. You can't do that if you're a guy. Brad Pitt probably couldn't even get away with selling his old BVDs with the skid marks. Probably not even if the profits were going to build an orphanage in Sri Lanka. Joe the Plumber definately can't sell his boxers. There would be a firestorm of controversy over that one. I don't know, though. After I post this I'll probably hear that Brad Pitt built an orphanage in Sri Lanka off the proceeds from his old sock drawer and I'll have to admit I'm wrong.

Or course it's more likely that that orphanage got built from Angelina Jolie's 3am Denny's panties fetching 22 million at Sotheby's.

So I started off with a bit of what I did over the weekend and ended on a used panties rant. It happens. Be excellent.